Looking back on the past 6 1/2 months-from when I first started Teach for America summer institute, until now when I find myself at home over winter break grading my students' first semester finals-I truly cannot say that I am completely the same person. Then again, how could I expect myself to be? When May 31st rolled around, I was a recent graduate of SMU, a diploma in hand, an empty apartment ready to be moved into, a car jammed packed of my life belongings, a new wardrobe of "real world" clothes, and a journey of which I knew absolutely nothing of what it would hold. Now, over half a year later, I am a 6th grade Science teacher at Infinity Preparatory, where I spend the majority of the hours in a day. My days no longer consist of running to and from college seminars, lunches on the boulevard, or late night chats at the Chi O house. Rather my days are filled with 125 energetic children, 6:30 AM coffee runs with my partner-in-crime Hannah, after school tutoring and honors program, lab coats and experiments, white boards and dry erase markers, parent-teacher meetings, 12 hour school days, elements and compounds, life lessons and crucial conversations, grading up to my neck, lesson planning, certification and training classes, mid-day sonic runs, lunch conversations filled with middle school gossip and drama, and soon-to-be, after school track practice. You may be asking yourself: that's an incredible overload of just about everything. Can you actually enjoy life in the midst of all of that craziness?
The answer is simple....I LOVE my life. To say that I simply "enjoy" life would be a slimming understatement.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved my college days. I wouldn't trade them for anything and so many of my most precious moments have come from those four glorious years. Nonetheless, I wouldn't trade what I'm doing now for anything in this world. God has never made it more clear that where I am right now is exactly where I need to be. I have no idea what God has in store for me after my TFA experience wraps up or where He will take me. But what I do know is that the opportunity He has given me to love on, serve, mentor, guide, and teach 125 children, is a gift that cannot be summed up in words. It is a blessing that cannot be described through simple thoughts. When I wake up at 5:30 AM every morning, I know I have a purpose in this life. I know I have a reason to go do what I do and I have 125 bright-eyed smiles and curious sets of eyes awaiting me. It is a humbling yet all to crazy cool experience. To be needed and wanted by these children. Though let's be honest: they don't NEED me. I have simply been put in this classroom and in this school, to be used by God. And so with the time I have, and this time I do not take for granted, no matter how tired my feet and my body may be at the end of the day, I will do one simple thing: I will teach. And through teaching I will love my kids. For I know that before we care about anything that anyone teaches us, we must know that we are cared for. At least that's how I operate :)
I came across the path of many people who encouraged me to re think my decision to do TFA. I heard all the reasons in the book of why I shouldn't do it. Why law school would be the better choice. To think what my life would be like now had I listened to them? My life is what is today because of where I am and the people I am surrounded by, especially my kids. I was sent into the classroom to be, as I was told by my TFA community, to be a leader and a changing agent for the lives of these kids. But to be completely honest-it's them who have been the changing agents for me. It is the most humbling experience I have ever had.
A classroom of children has the ability to change your entire perspective on life. It's something I am continuing to experience and continuing to try and wrap by head around, but it's true nonetheless. Sometimes I think we get trapped, thinking we have experienced truly what it means to "fully love" our lives. But as the Lord is showing me more and more each day through the lives of these kiddos, there is so much more joy to be found in life that we have yet to discover.
